Under The Surface
by YGOfangirl4ever
Summary: Bully! Prussia X Bullied! Abused! Anorexic! Reader Sounds cliche, right? Well, I'm just trying to give my own shot to this, and improve what others did before me by going deeper into things. Also an attempt at bringing some awareness about bullying and its effects. Give it a shot! You might like it! Warning: Ideologically Sensitive Material!
1. Chapter 1

**_Tenshi: Yeah, Another Hetalia fanfiction in the same day... But what do you expect? I finally got my inspiration to write back! Anyway, this one is going to be more angsty. I feel like there are enough bullied reader insert ficks out there, but most of them are rushed and miss essential points in them, so I'm going to give it my own shot at writing one right... Of course there are a few awesome examples of these out there, but at the same time there are too many that make me wanna scream..._**

**_Anyway, I don't own either Hetalia nor You, and I make absolutely no profit off of these writings!_**

* * *

Ludwig had always heard... the murmurs... the whispered insults... the hushed gossips... he'd even heard his brother talk about it, on more than one occasion.

Now he looked to his right, and couldn't help but wonder just where all of that had started.

Looking the girl down and up, he wondered just why they all talked like that about her. She didn't look any different, so...

Of course, the gossip wasn't exaggerated. It wasn't like the whole school talked solly about her. There were just occasional waves of gossips going on around.

About how she was always covered up...

About how she never talked to anyone...

About how she was always alone...

There were a lot of speculations going on around, about her, about her life... but people just couldn't figure her out.

That was probably why she was always alone, too... they didn't make it their purpose to hurt her or anything, they simply... avoided her.

People didn't understand her... they couldn't figure her out... For them she was different... she was weird...

She didn't fit into their 'normal', so it was easier to just go around her and ignore her, to not pay attention and worry themselves with what was too far off for them.

Of course that left the perfect place for those few to go in and d what the others didn't... to hurt her... it left space for those known as 'bullys', since they wouldn't need to go through any trouble with her friends or anything.

She was just like a translucent form walking through the halls, there, and yet not really present... it was easy for people to ignore her... and it was easy for people to hurt her.

Thinking about it, they seemed to have most of their classes together.

Maybe, he could try and be the one who stopped seeing around her. Maybe he could actually figure her out. She certainly didn't seem like a bad person, and it could hurt nobody if he got closer to her...

* * *

You went through yet another school day just like any other before it... and now you were almost praying for time to slow down, and the last couple of periods to hopefully keep you for the rest of eternity... but of course, you knew it wouldn't happen.

You sighed as you just got your things ready for the next class, going through the motion almost mechanically. It was all routine for you already... get your things, go to class, take your seat in the far front corner, as far away from the popular guys who sat at the back, and in the very corner of the teacher's sight so they never really noticed you, tune out your classmates' whispering, whether it be about you or other random stuff... wait till class ends, than repeat the process until the end of the day.

And you did nothing different today...

So then, why did somebody suddenly sit next to you?

This definitely wasn't normal.

Nobody ever sat next to you. Ever!

What could trigger such a change?

And even more, what could possibly possess said person to actually talk to you?!

"Hello, eto... (Y-Y/n)?"

You just nodded dumbfoundedly, hardly processing this change. But when that person smiled at you...

You had officially lost your mind.

Yeah. That was it. That was the only explanation!

"I'm Ludwig. Um... Are you ok?" he asked you, and you shook your head a little, trying to both make sure you weren't dreaming, and to get out of your trance.

"Oh, um... I...eto..." you tried to form a phrase, ignoring the whispers that were now most probably about you, when suddenly the teacher walked in class, successfully saving you from having to put together any more words and interjections.

All during class, you kept looking over to the boy next to you. He was really well built, looking at you from at least two heads above, and there was this slightly intimidating air about him, and an imposing stature. Yet, he looked almost... perfect. With deep eyes, almost like looking into the depths of the ocean, and blond, silky-looking hair, combed back perfectly over his head.

You kept asking yourself why in the world he would ever sink as low as to sit next to you. Nobody ever did, so... why him? He wasn't a new student or anything, and he definitely wasn't a nerd or anything...

With all of your struggling, you weren't able to come up with any reasonable explanation to this situation, and soon the bell rang, signaling the beginning of your last period for the day. You quickly scrambled to get all of your things together, wanting to get there as soon as possible.

Meanwhile, Ludwig was also getting his things, before looking over at you. If he remembered correctly, the two of you had the last period together, too. Maybe he could get at least a bit closer to you with this...

"Hey, (Y/n), do you want to walk together to our next class? We do share this period." He couldn't help but notice your flinch when he talked to you, and the swirm of emotions in your eyes when you looked up at him.

On the other hand you had no idea how to react. You just didn't understand why he was doing all of this. There was absolutely no reason you could come up with to explain his behaviour!

So being who you were, and being unable to refuse somebody, you just ducked your head down and hurriedly nodded, eager to get out of that situation soon.

* * *

Of course, the rest of day had been a complete wonder for you. Ludwig kept trailing next to you, and more than once had attempted to make small-talk. Not to mention that no bully even tried to approach you during the last break like they usually did, most probably because of the well-muscled guy following your every step.

But the most pellicular moment for you, had been during attendance taking in your last period. When Ludwig was called, and you learned that his full name was actually Ludwig Beilschmidt... which made a 99% probability that he was the brother of Gilbert Beilschmidt... one of the worst bullys around.

* * *

_**Tenshi: Yeah, I think I'll let it off there... Anyway, I'm curious what people think... I know it seems like a Germany X reader right now, but just bare with me! I really wanna give this story a solid foundation and build it up right!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Tenshi: Wow... Never before did I recieve such love as I did for this story! It makes me so happy *tears up a bit*_**

**_I don't own Hetalia, you, or the song 'My Puzzle Of Dreams' (c) Vanilla Ninja_**

* * *

The walk home was silent as usual. You tuned out the sounds of the people around you, and instead concentrated on your own thoughts.  
Today at school, somebody interacted with you. It seemed almost as if he had wanted to be friends, but why would he want that? Why with you? And besides, he was the brother of... Gilbert. That just gave you an uneasy feeling over the whole thing... After all, the first person who ever payed attention to you was the sibling of one of your worst bullies at school.  
No, something was definitely not right, and you just couldn't shake that feeling off. It would just be safer for you to avoid him completely from now on...  
Besides, right now, you would have to concentrate on keeping your father happy rather than anything else...

Soon enough, you got home, and happy to notice that nobody was there, you quickly went to your room and set down your things.  
Then going to the bathroom, you pulled out the scale and quickly weighted yourself, before looking in the mirror and inspecting your appearence.  
And you were still fat. No matter how many calories you cut from your diet, how many lunches you 'forgot' to pack, or how you started walking home rather than taking the bus... You still just seemed so fat! What was wrong with you?  
Tearing up a bit in frustration, you walked out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen to drink some water. It was all you would allow yourself for now, before you went and started doing your homework in the silence of your room.

After a while, getting sick of the silence though, you started singing to yourself. It was part of one of your favorite songs, 'My Puzzle of Dreams'...

_(Lyrics cut out here);_

You were thinking of all of your own dreams... They were what kept you going. If you didn't have them, your dreams, you probably would have completely snapped by now... but for those dreams, you had a reason to hold on...

Ever since your parents had divorced when you were nine and your father had gotten custody of you, things had gotten tougher and tougher for you. Your only moments of escape and release, were when you would finally be alone in your room, away from your controlling father and the rest of the world, and just sinking yourself in your music and story books.  
Ever since then, your best friends had been the story characters, and your perfect world was built somewhere far away from all your problems.  
And that's why your dreams were just these... singing and writing. You wanted to forever stay connected to those things which had helped you go through the tougher part of your life, and keep your mind intact in front of all the threats to your very sanity.

And this song was one you could really relate to. Every day, you felt empty inside, and not just because of the lack of food. Every day, you had to remind yourself of exactly why you were still holding on, struggling to keep hold of your dreams and hopes, but still going through hardships, that left you scars that nobody else could see...  
But you were a dreamer. You were full of hopes, of hidden desires and shattered pieces of yourself that you would one day pick up and put together, before managing to start over, and make your dreams come true.  
But before that, you would have to fight, to make your way out of the darkest part of your life, and into the new light age that you hoped, wanted- were going to reach one day...

Just to hold on till then...  
"(Y/N)!" You suddenly heard the voice of your father yell through the house. He must have just gotten home...  
"Y-Yes... dad?" you stuttered.  
"Get over here!" he ordered, and you scrambled to do as told. Angering him really was the last thing you wanted to do. Since the divorce, he'd been in a constant bad mood, and had started acting almost if not exactly like a slave-driver. "What is this?!" he spat in your direction, while pulling out a paper and pointing towards it.  
With horror taking over your mind, you realised that said 'paper', was actually your grade situation, and your father had found out that you had gotten not one, but two Bs.  
"I-I..." you tried, you really tried to explain yourself, but what were you going to say? That because of school, and bullies, and stress, and especially because of _him_, you were starving yourself, and lost sleep every night, and were just unable to keep up with everything you had to do? There was no way you could say that!  
"You stupid girl! I thought I made it clear that you were only supposed to get the best grades!" he once again yelled at you, throwing the damned papers aside, and advancing to give you a slap that sent you screaming to the ground.

* * *

Once again you had cried yourself to sleep, no longer having the will to look at the bruises that your father had caused you that day.  
There weren't a lot of them... but still, they hurt... each and every one of them hurt, not only physically but emotionally... Each one of them, was caused by your own _father_. By your parent... and the meaning and words that accompanied the wounds...  
You had to suppress yet another sob. You couldn't think about that anymore... you had to take your mind away from that...

So you did what you could. The only thing you could. You started singing to yourself once again... yes... music kept you from thinking too much, and going insane...

You were sixteen now... you only had two more years, two years to endure before you'd finally be free of him, of everything, and you'd finally be able to lead your own life...  
You'd survived all these years... you'd make it. You had to...

* * *

_**Tenshi: Yeah, sorry for putting Reader-chan through so much, but it had to be done!**_

_**Anyway, I would really appreciate it if people wouldn't just follow and run, but take at least one minute to let me know what you all think! Virtual cookies for everyone who does ^.^**_


	3. Chapter 3

As you were walking to school, you decided to take your time, and walked over the longer route rather than the shorter one.

You were early enough as it is, winning some time by skipping breakfast, and waking up one hour early anyway just in order to avoid your father.

As you walk around the completely empty streets, you notice that puddles had formed during the night, and water was still dripping from the leaves of the trees.

_Huh... it must've rained last night..._ you thought, your mind unconsciously going back to a day long, long ago, so similar to this one, and yet so different.

It was back when you were a child, back when your family was still one, when your parents were still together...

It was later in the day, but the scenery was highly similar, as back then it had barely stopped raining... You were the only ones who would go out on that weather, but you did, because there was this one anniversary that you really wanted to attend.

Yes, back then you had all been happy... you still remembered when you used to go out, hug, laugh together... but then, something happened. You didn't know what, but it caused your parents to drift apart, more and more until they eventually ended up divorcing... that dreaded year for you, with your parents fighting, trials, and then even you started drifting away from your own friends, too preoccupied with your own with your own worries at the time...

After a while, it seemed like your mother was going to win the trial. She was going to win custody over you...

That until that night...

Even now you were horrified at the memory... one minute the phone rang, and next thing you knew, you were crying next to your mother's bed in the hospital...

It didn't take long for the incident to get to the court's ears, and then it was too late for anything else... you mother had gotten drunk, caving under the stress of everything going on, and had soon been caught in a traffic accident.

The court wouldn't risk giving custody to your mother, as she was viewed as being too 'irresponsible' as a parent...

You didn't even realise when your tears started falling, but you quickly reached up to wipe them away.

Of course, for another year or so, your mom had tried all she could to get back custody over you. That was a closed case though, and there were enough other cases that needed more attention, so the court didn't even give her the time of day...

Eventually, your mother had moved away... moved to another country, promising to one day come back after you... but that had yet to happen, and you had barely even heard from her during that whole time...

But whatever... by now, you were decided to make it on your own. You had to be able to stand on your own two feet as soon as you got free from your father.

Before you realised it, you were in front of the school, still twenty minutes early. Wiping the last tears away, you walked in silently, and went to your locker in order to get your things for all your classes till lunch, before walking over to your first period class, and taking your usual spot.

For about ten minutes, you just sit there, once more singing to yourself, until more teenagers started appearing, and you stopped, leaning your head down for your (h/c) hair to cover your face, not wanting to meet any of their eyes...

Then suddenly, a loud, obnoxious laughter filled your ears, and you didn't even dare look up. You just wanted to avoid, anything that had to do with him... you couldn't take him right now, and thankfully, he was too busy with his friends to pay attention to you, though that didn't stop you from trying to make yourself smaller, to avoid any possibility of him acknowledging you. Though all you wanted every day was to get acknowledged by others in your school, he was one of the few people who you would rather have ignoring you completely, forever. Nothing good came when he noticed you...

* * *

Until lunch, you kept running from class to class, avoiding bullies and making yourself invisible in any of the classes you shared with Gilbert.

Then when lunch came, you waited for the halls to empty, until everyone was in the cafeteria, and that was when you went to your locker to switch your books with the ones for the second part of the day.

Now you were in front of your locker, trying to shove all of the books into your bag, when suddenly, the door to your locker was shoved closed by somebody's hand, and you had barely enough time to get your hands out in time.

* * *

I was walking around the halls. It was pretty quiet at this time, since most people were gone to lunch, and... it was weird. I didn't really like the quiet, though at the same time it felt pretty good as a change of pace.

I was only going to go and grab something from my locker, and was walking, I wasn't expecting to find anyone around, so it came as a surprise for me when I heard sounds from around the corner. Curious, I sped up a little, to find who would be here, instead of going out to eat...

Though when I had my answer, I wasn't so surprised anymore.

There was (y/n), shoving things between her bag and her locker.

I can't really explain all the feelings that coursed through me at the moment I saw her, but it all then grew into the same anger it does every time. She's just so... I don't even know how to call it, but it just made want to go and beat the crap out of her.

Of course I wasn't that much of a brute, but it still didn't stop me from just shoving that anger she caused me right back on her.

So with these thoughts and emotions in mind, I walked over to her silently, conveniently walking from the side behind her locker door so she couldn't see me, and smashed the door closed without a warning. It's just her luck that she managed to avoid getting her hands caught...

Then as I looked down at her, I plastered a smirk on my face.

* * *

**_Tenshi: I'm on a Roll! XD Three chapters in (almost) three days! Awesome!_**  
**_You guys, I'm so happy you all like my fick this much!_**

**_Now I don't feel like this chapter is quite as good as the first two, but it's one phase that I had to get over with before getting to the actual action._**

**_Anyway, guys, I had to take one word out of what would have been the whole description of the fick, in 'Bully!Prussia X Bullied!Abused!Anorexic!Reader'. There is one small part that is missing in that... and I have started and will be giving hints to that, as it will be a big part in the story, and I challenge anyone who wants to try and figure out the word(and it's location) before that arc in the story finally comes! I don't have a prize or anything, besides maybe a virtual cake, but I though it mught be fun ^.^_**

**_Anyway, Himaruya owns the Hetalia characters, and you own yourself. I only own the plot XD_**


End file.
